


i won't say i'm in love

by kissteethstainred



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Background Relationships, M/M, Miller just wants a Gay Squad™, this is almost like crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 04:29:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5525408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kissteethstainred/pseuds/kissteethstainred
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nathan Miller is not going to fall for Monty Green just because Monty is the only other gay guy at their school.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i won't say i'm in love

**Author's Note:**

> this is slightly ridiculous and i have no idea why this came to me, but i hope you enjoy it!
> 
> also, i figured we should have some fic for monty/miller on christmas (eve) even tho this isn't holiday related, so: merry christmas, ya filthy animals

It’s not like Miller is the only LGBT kid at his school—that he knows with a certainty. He's friends with Harper, who's dating Monroe, and he and Harper have study hall together. They usually shared their stories of “another ridiculous thing the straights have done this time” because those stories could really only be shared with other LGBT kids. And Miller knows that Clarke is bi from her history with Lexa, but they were all girls. Miller didn’t have a problem with girls, except for the fact that he was gay, and knowing only LGBT girls didn’t really help him in the romance department. Or any department.

He knows it’s not realistic to think that he’s the only gay guy in the school—he’s not that stupid—but sometimes it just sucks. Seriously.

He went to Harper about it once, but she said, “Miller, I barely like talking to boys in general, how am I supposed to talk to them long enough to find the gay ones?” Which, alright, Miller had to concede that one to her. 

He usually doesn't go to Bellamy about this, because Bellamy, in all his womanizer glory, is very bad at talking about feelings (granted, Miller isn't much better) and guys, which is why Miller is surprised when Bellamy says, “You know, I heard that Monty Green kid is gay.”

Miller doesn't take his eyes off the video game—last time he did, Bellamy had promptly chosen to kill Miller’s character. “How do _you_ know that?”

“I was talking to Raven, who heard it from Jasper,” Bellamy says.

Miller frowns at that. He usually doesn’t like to listen to speculation about other gay kids, because that can be really bad for kids who aren’t ready to be out yet—not to mention they’re usually rumors started out of malicious intent—but this has some truth to it. It’s well known that Jasper and Monty are best friends. Jasper and Raven work together in Chemistry, and Raven is a reliable source.

So, that’s intriguing.

“Whatever,” Miller says, focusing back on the game.

Bellamy laughs. “Did you really just say ‘ _whatever_ ’? You complain that you’re the only gay guy we know, and when I give you prime information, you just brush it off?”

“Look, that’s great and all for Monty Green, but we don’t exactly know each other and—” Miller shoots Bellamy a look when Bellamy opens his mouth to argue. “—I’m not going to talk to him just because he’s the only other gay guy we know.” He really doesn’t want to go down the whole _we’re the only two gay guys so everyone is gonna get us together_ cliché.

Bellamy shakes his head. “I’ve heard he’s nice.”

“Uh, huh. And while you were talking to Raven, your conversation topic stayed only on two gay guys at your school?”

Bellamy flushes. He may be well known as a womanizer, but Miller knows that it’s to make up for his massive crush on Raven. “Fuck you,” he says, and promptly kicks Miller’s ass in the video game. Miller figures he probably deserves it, but still, he knows he won that round.

\--

Maybe not.

When he comes to lunch the next day at school, Monty Green and Jasper Jordan just happen to be sitting at their lunch table.

It’s well known that Miller can give looks that really can kill, but when he glares at Bellamy, Bellamy only grins. Bellamy’s been Miller’s best friend since they were twelve; it figures that he would be immune to it.

“It wasn’t me,” says Bellamy when Miller grabs him by the arm and drags him to the lunch line. “It was Octavia, I swear.”

“Weird that you two are related,” Miller says, raising an eyebrow.

Bellamy only smiles. “I’m beginning to think it’s destiny.”

“I’m beginning to think that God was laughing at me the day he made you my best friend.”

Bellamy wraps his arm around Miller’s shoulders. “You chose me, I’m afraid.”

“I regret it every day.”

And because the Blake’s definitely can get worse, the only spot left open after Bellamy sits down is, of course, next to Monty. Miller glares at Bellamy and then Octavia on his way down, and clears his expression when he’s not looking at them. Monty moves over to give Miller some more room.

“Sorry,” says Monty, giving Miller a small smile, and then, “I’m Monty.”

“Miller.”

Monty’s smile gets a bit wider. “Yeah, I know,” he says, with a glance at Octavia and Jasper.

Miller laughs, then. “I guess you also get that it’s not a coincidence that we’re both sitting here.”

“No,” says Monty with a shake of his head. “Jasper said he heard a rumor that you were gay and suddenly Octavia was inviting us over.”

Miller says, “Let me guess. Jasper heard it from Raven.”

“That . . . would be right. And I’m guessing that Raven heard it from Jasper?” Miller nods, and Monty sighs. “I knew I smelled something fishy.”

Miller shakes his head. “They’re right, you know, about me being gay. But I’m not going to fall for you just because you’re the only other gay guy I know.”

Monty snorts. “I was never worried.”

\--

Miller is beginning to become worried.

After the first time, Monty and Jasper spend more time at their table, until eventually they’re easily molded into the group, and Miller doesn’t avoid Monty. At all.

The problem is that Miller can see, even without getting that close to him, that Monty is extremely funny and smart and attractive.

Harper laughs at him. “Isn’t this what you wanted?”

“ _No_ ,” Miller lies.

Harper shakes her head at him. “I don’t see why not. Monty’s a catch.”

Miller narrows his eyes at her. “They’ve gotten you in on this as well.”

“I'm only—”

“You _traitor_ ,” Miller hisses.

“—saying that Monty seems to like your company as well,” Harper says.

“I’m not listening,” Miller tells her, but he definitely is, and he wonders if Monty told her that, or if she heard it. He won’t ask. He _will not_ ask. He is really not going to fall for this plan. Then, “Did he tell you that?”

Harper attempts not to look smug, but she fails. Miller throws his pencil at her, even though he needs it for his math work. “He was talking about it to Jasper and I,” she says, “and you’d know if you actually talked to him.”

“ _Seriously_ not listening,” Miller says, giving her a look, and then puts his earbuds in and tries to focus on his work.

They must talk to Monty about it, or Monty get’s tired of Miller’s immaturity, because Monty finds him at one of Clarke’s parties, which are nice because of her huge house. Miller is drinking on the roof, because he’s reckless and likes the cool air compared to the stuffy heat inside, and Monty climbs out of the window.

“Oh, shit,” Miller says, because he’s reckless _and_ drunk, and therefore shouldn’t be held accountable.

Monty only grins at him. “Thanks. Can I join you?”

Miller means to say no, but “Sure” comes out, and Miller is seriously regretting drinking tonight.

Monty sits down next to him with ease—the part of the roof they’re on is very flat, with a slight ledge at the end, so they don’t need to worry about falling—with a couple inches between them. Monty doesn’t do it on purpose, but Miller is extremely aware of the inches between them.

He wonders if his plan to avoid Monty failed because it only made him notice Monty more. _Shit_.

Miller says, after a moment, “Sorry about saying ‘ _oh, shit_ ’ when you came out. It's nothing against you.”

Monty lifts the corner of his mouth. “Sure, it wasn’t. It’s fine, though, I come bearing gifts.” He pulls a joint out of his pocket, and Miller jerks at that, placing his beer can down on the roof next to him.

“You are the _best_ ,” Miller says, already reaching to where Monty is offering it to him, but Monty takes his hand back at the last second.

“That’s funny that you say that,” says Monty, “because I’m pretty sure you’ve been avoiding me.”

“If I say yes, will you still give me the joint,” Miller says. Monty just continues staring at him with an unimpressed look. “Alright, yes, shit, I was avoiding you.”

“Why?” Monty asks as he hands the joint over.

“Remember what I said about not falling for you?”

“Yeah, because I’m the only other gay guy you know,” Monty says. He takes the joint back and Miller really, really hates the way Monty’s mouth fits around the joint, and he especially hates the way Monty looks when he blows the smoke out. _Fuck_. “That doesn’t mean you can’t get to know me or we can't be friends.”

Yes, it does, but Miller snatches the joint back and says, “Fine, what do you want to know?”

Miller finds out that they both live with a single parent—Miller with his dad and Monty with his mom. Monty’s dad left when Monty was only a year old, so Monty isn’t too bothered by his absence. “He didn’t want to be in my life,” Monty says, “so I don’t care to bring him to mine.”

Miller tells Monty how his mother died of cancer when he was eight, and how his father never really got over it, but his dad had tried his best. “We have a very strange relationship,” Miller says. “But we try, so.”

Monty nods, blowing smoke out of his nose. Miller finds that incredibly attractive, and he has to press his nails into his thighs. “My mom did the same,” he says. “She was always supporting me, because she didn’t want me to feel unloved, you know? There was this thing by this famous psychologist or some shit, I don’t remember exactly, something about unconditional positive regard. It means, like, supporting your child in everything they do and creating a positive environment and they’d turn out a great kid or something. And I think she was trying to do that with me.”

Miller snorts. “Yeah, when I was little, I liked to steal stuff. I don’t think my dad really wanted to encourage that.”

Monty hits him on his arm. “Not like that, you idiot. You know what I mean. Like being gay.”

Which, yeah, Miller does understand. He didn’t know what to expect when he decided to come out to his dad, but it hadn’t been his dad crying. He tells Monty so, and Monty smiles. “My mom knew when I was six,” Monty says. “I asked her when I was going to marry Jasper. She never really let it go.”

Miller coughs on the smoke he was inhaling. “Please tell me you weren’t _that_ gay kid, the one who had a crush on his straight best friend.”

Monty shrugs, his smile innocent and self-deprecating at the same time. “Guilty.”

“Oh, god,” Miller says, starting to laugh and finding that he can’t stop. “That’s the worst. And on _Jasper_?”

“Hey,” Monty says, defensive, but he starts laughing too. “Don’t be all high and mighty because you didn’t have that experience.”

“Oh, no, I did.” At Monty’s look, he says, “You try growing up with Bellamy and not have a crush on him.”

Monty laughs. “I can see that, I guess. God, we really are similar.”

Miller has noticed that, of course, just like he’s noticed Monty’s smile more and more, and the easy way it is between them. It’s not like he noticed that Monty is more attractive the more intoxicated he became—it was just that Miller’s attempts to not act on his feelings are getting weaker and weaker. “Okay,” he says, feeling not quite like himself, “the actor you crushed on growing up.”

Being on the roof had seemed nice because it wasn’t as hot, but now it's much colder. Monty has moved closer, their thighs are brushing, and Miller is slowly caring less about falling for him.

“Considering that I grew up loving the _Star Wars_ films, I’m gonna have to go with young Harrison Ford,” says Monty, and Miller would have agreed to that if the next words Monty says isn't, “Shotgun.”

Miller obediently moves forward and opens his mouth, let’s Monty grasp his chin and blow smoke into his mouth. Monty’s eyes are on his, though, and when Monty pulls away he says, “Fuck it. I’m going to kiss you, okay?” and Miller nods.

Monty is an experienced kisser, and so is Miller, which leads to some very experienced kissing altogether, Monty’s hand still on Miller’s chin. Miller lets Monty guide the kiss, Monty’s mouth soft and warm. Monty pulls away with a frustrated noise and moves so suddenly that Miller jerks back a little, only to have Monty straddle Miller’s lap and pull Miller back.

“Sorry,” Monty says, a little bit breathless, “but that angle was—come here.”

Monty is right—the angle is much better from here, Monty’s fingers sliding from Miller’s cheeks over his hair, and Miller gives a full-body shiver. Monty’s warm all along Miller’s front, the chill from the night air long forgotten, and Miller presses closer. He slips a hand under Monty’s sweatshirt, and he laughs into Monty’s mouth when he realizes he got his hand between Monty’s shirt and sweatshirt. He doesn’t care that much, just fits his hand to Monty’s side, and his hand slides perfectly along Monty’s rib. He can feel every breath Monty takes, every time Monty laughs at him.

The party is loud downstairs and it's getting later, but nothing is more important right now than the warmth of Monty’s tongue, and the way his breath hitches a little when Miller deepens the kiss, and the way his grip gets tighter in Miller’s hair.

“How—” Monty asks when he breaks away. Miller moves down to Monty’s jaw and bites down a little, just to see Monty’s reaction. It’s fucking glorious—Monty jerks a little and says, “ _Jesus_.” Miller smiles against his neck and works his mouth there as well, as Monty asks, “How is that thing working out for you again?”

Miller pulls away to say, “What?”

“That—you know, your little mantra. How you’re not gonna fall for me and all that.”

“Superb,” Miller says, and takes Monty’s mouth again.

\--

Bellamy is smirking at him when he walks into the Blake living room. “I saw Monty at school today.”

“So?”

“ _So_ , that’s a very nice hickey you gave him.”

Miller can feel himself flush, but he says, “Who says that was me?”

Bellamy laughs. “Oh, yeah, sure, you guys didn’t disappear for the entirety of Clarke’s party.”

Miller just narrows his eyes at him, and it suddenly hits him that Bellamy knows that Miller likes to go on roofs at parties. “Did you tell him where I was?” Miller asks.

Bellamy says, “Of course not,” but Miller can see right through him.

“You’re a dick,” Miller says, unable to tell whether he’s mad or fond. “But from now on, you won’t get involved."

"No promises," says Bellamy.

"You can't get involved," Miller says forcefully, "until Finn and Raven break up.”

Bellamy glares at him. “That’s a low fucking blow, Nathaniel.”

Miller says, “Say that name one more time and I’ll—” and Bellamy tackles him.

Octavia comes in five minutes later and yells, “What the _fuck_ , guys?”

Miller pushes himself away from Bellamy, lying back on the floor and laughing at the ceiling. He can hear Bellamy laughing as he collapses against the couch.

“Have you guys lost your minds?” Octavia demands, her hands on her hips. “What is with guys and their inability to have decent conversations without throwing punches? Miller gave you a black eye and you’re _laughing_ , Bell?”

Miller pushes himself to a sitting position. “I gave him a black eye? Now that’s an accomplishment.”

Bellamy laughs. “You’re gonna have a nasty bruise on your jaw, so don’t think you can gloat.”

Miller shrugs, and Octavia looks between them with confusion. “I will never understand you two,” she says decisively.

As she turns to leave, Miller says, “Wait, O.” She looks back to him. “Tell me right now—and don’t lie—that all of our friends have conspired to get Monty and I together.”

Octavia grins. “I saw that hickey you gave him.”

“That was _not_ an answer.”

“We made a pact to see if you guys would like each other, nothing more. It seems to be working,” Octavia says, and Bellamy lets out a long groan.

“Way to keep a secret, O,” he says.

“What? Miller and Monty are obviously into each other, I don’t see why we can’t tell him.”

Miller looks to Octavia and says, “If any part of this was a bet or a prank or if any money was put on this, I swear to God, I will murder everyone involved in it.”

“That’s a lot of people,” Bellamy says, and Miller glares at him.

Octavia raises her hands and says, “It wasn’t a bet or a prank and there was no money passed around.” When everyone is satisfied, she turns to Bellamy and says, “Lincoln’s coming over, by the way.”

“No he’s not,” Bellamy says, but Octavia only laughs and goes back up the stairs. “ _O!_ No he’s not!” After she leaves, Bellamy gingerly touches his eye and says, “So, you like Monty?”

“We are not having this conversation,” Miller says.

\--

A week later, Finn and Raven break up.

“You’re shitting me,” Miller says when Bellamy tells him. Bellamy shakes his head, looking equally excited and somber, and Miller says, “You’re _shitting_ me.”

“She found out that he was cheating on her, and apparently he didn’t even deny it, just openly admitted to it and told her that it didn’t matter because he still loved her, as if that means shit—also, cheating on someone shows that you don’t love them, fucking asshole—but anyways, she punched him in the face and then basically attempted to beat the shit out of him, and she got a good couple of punches and kicks, and basically they’re fucking over,” Bellamy says, all in one rush.

“That,” Miller says, and stops. “That sucks. Is she okay?”

“She’s demanding that we all go get drunk with her and damage his shit,” Bellamy says.

“I’m in,” Miller says. He pauses when Bellamy raises his eyebrows at him. “What? Alcohol and stealing shit is right up my alley. Doing it to a shitty person is even better.” Then he turns on Bellamy and says, “If you make a move on her I swear—”

“What?” Bellamy says. “I wouldn’t. That’s shitty.” Miller only stares at him, so Bellamy sighs and says, “I wouldn’t when she’s not ready, fuck.”

Miller eyes him for another moment before nodding. Bellamy had been sincere in his words, so Miller turns back to his locker to get his books out for English.

Bellamy leans in and says, “But you know what the breakup means, right?”

Miller just looks at him.

“It means that I can ask you if not falling for Monty is working for you,” Bellamy says, with a wide grin.

Miller slams his locker shut. “Fuck off,” he says, and Bellamy laughs, puts his arm around Miller, and drags him down the hall.

\--

“I think you’re avoiding me,” Monty says, then, pointedly, “Again.”

“Okay, this time I wasn’t,” Miller says, smiling at him. “Hello.”

Monty’s smile is sweet and fills Miller up with warmth. “Hi. Come over after school today. My mom wants to make us dinner.”

Miller freezes. “ _What_?”

“Is that okay?”

“You want your mom to meet me,” Miller says, slow.

“I want you to come over to my house, where my mom is willing to cook dinner for us,” Monty says. When it’s apparent that Miller’s brain is still lagging, Monty says, “You didn’t talk to me because of the _only gay guy_ thing, and that really turned out well for you. Why can’t you date me?”

“Oh, now we’re dating?” Miller says. “I thought we were getting dinner with your mom.”

Monty laughs. “Where have you _been_ this last week?” Then, “So, you’re coming?”

Miller says, “I never said anything.”

Monty’s smile gets wider. “I already told Jasper to leave without me and that you’d drive me home, so you’ll already be at my house. Just accept defeat.”

“If I date you, our friends win,” Miller points out.

“You’re the one who resisted, so you’re the one who’s gonna have to deal with all the gloating,” Monty says. “I happily went along with it.”

Miller sighs. “Just accept defeat?” he repeats. 

Monty smiles and kisses him, pressing his hand to Miller’s cheek. “I promise I can make defeat feel good,” he whispers.

Miller groans. “Fuck the dinner. My dad has night duty tonight.”

Monty kisses him again and says, “Sorry, but my mom’s dinners trump everything else on this planet. Even sex.”

“But we haven’t even had sex yet, so you can't really compare,” Miller says, and Monty whacks him on the arm. “Yeah, alright, let’s go. My car is in the parking lot.”

When they park in front of Monty’s house, Monty says, “So, my mom isn’t actually expecting me until five.” It’s 4:17, but Miller doesn’t understand why that has any relevance. Monty sighs and says, “You have a particularly large backseat.”

Miller looks behind him to the backseat. “It is,” he says, and then, “It’s still not big enough to fit two people making out.”

Monty throws his backpack on the floor. “And you would know?” he asks, with a raise of his eyebrow.

Miller does, actually, but he just says, “Hurry up and get back there,” and follows Monty as they climb into the backseat.

“Won’t your mom get suspicious of the car parked outfront,” Miller says, letting Monty pull Miller on top of him, and then, “Also, why couldn’t we just do this in your room—”

Monty kisses him quiet, and Miller is more than happy to comply.

\--

Despite Miller’s complaining, Monty continues to drag him down the hallway until they reach the art room. Inside is a couple of kids, drawing a still-life from a bunch of objects thrown together in the middle of the room, but Monty drags himself over to this one kid in the back.

“Nate,” Monty says, “this is Sterling.”

Sterling looks up at him, and then says, “Oh, this is the boyfriend?”

“Yes. Nate, Sterling is bi,” Monty says. Sterling just flashes Miller a grin. “So that means you now know more than one LGBT guy at this school.” Miller glares at Monty, and Monty just smiles at him. “Thank you, Sterling,” Monty says, and Monty takes Miller’s hand and pulls him out of the art room.

“That was really unnecessary,” Miller says.

“Uh huh,” Monty says, stopping by one of the lockers and pulling Miller flush against him. “Tell me—again—how did the whole _I’m not gonna to fall for you just because you’re the only other gay guy I know_ thing go again, even though now I'm not?”

Miller groans. “One month later and you and Bellamy are the only ones who _still_ do this.”

“It’s just so good,” Monty says, pulling Miller down for a kiss. Miller gets distracted by it, pushing Monty back against the lockers and deepening the kiss, but Monty pulls away and says breathlessly, “Save it for later.”

“Fuck,” Miller says, but he lets Monty pull away and walk down the hall. "Making a guy wait is cruel, Monty." 

“You made me wait for your own stupid pride,” Monty says, squeezing Miller’s hand.

“One month, Monty. It’s been a _whole month_ already.”

At least Miller can be satisfied with kissing the smile on Monty’s face when Monty laughs at him.

**Author's Note:**

> yes, that title is from the song from hercules . . . what can i say? it was the first thing that came to mind
> 
> [my tumblr is here](http://montygreening.tumblr.com/) if you wanna chat!


End file.
